Devin’s father is a beast.
Well, he was a beast. At age fifty, his dad is currently the kindest, most likable, and friendly individual you’d ever care to meet.
But Devin is imaging the way his dad used to be.
Devin’s father is a beast.
A time bomb, waiting to release rage. Eager to enforce the beast’s dominance, and exorcise ‘lack of control’ from his house.
I think he’s happier being angry… Devin thought to himself… but why?
It doesn’t make sense.
He’s evil. I hate him.
I really hate him.
Accusations Find A Home
RECEIVING BLAME for everything. He had a sister who could be accused too. Daddy’s little girl. Very smart, always smiling. Perfect; so perfect. The liar. Splendid one. Aware, even as a pre-teen; Daddy twirled around her finger. Blaming nothing upon the girl. Never laying hands on her. Nor should he. If he did that, he’d be kicked out. Mom wouldn’t put up with that. No one would. Devin wouldn’t either. If his father dared to unveil the beast upon Devin’s older sister, he’d slit the man’s throat while he slept.
But why is it okay for Dad to beat me?… he pondered.
This question haunted his little world.
As a grade schooler, he lived in fear of his father. Afraid of doing something wrong. Sometimes for things he actually did; nobody’s perfect. But more often, he was afraid of the things he didn’t do. Siblings can be crafty as hell. His older sister (Kristina) only need to deny her involvement in any wrongdoing, once; regardless of the crime. Thereby, defaulting instant blame to Devin.
Solve a Mystery, The Wrong Way
A SMALL AMOUNT OF CASH inexplicably disappeared. It was stolen from the secret-money-hiding-spot. No need to worry, inspector Dad is on the case. He positioned Christina and Devin next to each other, and asked Christina. “Did you take the money?”
“No Daddy,” she replied, behind a shield of watery-doe eyes, pooling innocence. She knew the game well, and was a child-prodigy in deception… all I have to do is pretend to cry… she surmised.
Devin anticipated his own plea of denial, knowing, he didn’t take the money. There’s no way an innocent person gets punished in a fair household. But he stood in a shadow. His father’s frame had eclipsed the light, creating darkness, and cold. He arched over the young boy, and raged anger with deep-furrowed brows, hinting at the creature within.
There’s silence. Then, a change-of-the-guard. Devin’s father had satiated the beast. He dominated the boy’s diminutive frame, and the creature resolutely decreed. “Then you must’ve done it!”
Devin pleaded innocence, but his exasperated cries clawed against iron ears.
Devin’s mom sat in the living-room, and the beast pointed at her.
“Go apologize to your mother!”
IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE TO DEVIN… why do I have to apologize to Mommy over something I didn’t do? But he knew better than to question the beast. The punishment would be more severe if he did. And years later he wondered… maybe I was apologizing for something the beast was about to do?
He walked to his mom crying, and praying… maybe this is the only punishment I’ll receive? Devin stuttered. “I-I’m sorry Mommy.”
“Okay,” she said while wiping tears from her cheeks. She forced a painful-smile because she foresaw Devin’s future.
And it’s bad.
“Go to your room and wait!” snarled the beast.
HE SAT ON THE EDGE of his bed, rocking back-and-forth, sobbing incessantly. Devin was aware of what came next, and questioned… will he beat me with the belt? The belt’s not so bad. I mean, it hurts. But I can take it. It’s not as bad as the extension cord; I hate that thing. It really hurts.
Twenty minutes pass.
Between tears, he gasped for air, and his eyelids fell open… Jesus, is he gonna hit me with the rubber hose? I hope it’s not the rubber hose. Please don’t let it be the rubber hose. Oh God, I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t let it be the hose, I’ll never be bad again. I swear. I’ll be good. I promise.
Another twenty minutes… did he forget?
Did Mommy talk him out of it?! Maybe she convinced him I’ve been punished enough? I hope she did. Mommy loves me.
THE DOOR OPENED, AND IN WALKED THE BEAST. He held the rubber hose in his right hand and stopped. Then turned around and closed the door while he casually spoke. “You know why I’m gonna beat you, right?”
“But I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it!” cried Devin.
The beast looked into Devin’s eyes dismissively. He curled his lip.
“Take off your clothes!”
Devin obliged and sobbed while slowly removing his shirt and socks.
The beast sneered. “Hurry up!”
Devin trembled, then removed his ragged pants, revealing ashy knees bordered between bony twig-like thighs, and calves.
“Underwear too, take ‘em off!”
Devin obeyed, and his frail nine-year-old frame displayed; shaking as if the earth beneath him quaked.
The beast beat him.
Burn a Soul
HE GRIPPED DEVIN’S LEFT HAND with the strength of a steel-vice while his right hand whirled the black-rubber tool. Each swing slapped-hard against raw skin as the crackling whips battled against Devin’s wailing screams. His cries encouraged the beast more, and between strikes, the beast spoke.
“Are you gonna be bad again!?”
“R’ya gonna be good!?”
“D’you want me to stop!?”
The beast paused.
“Tell me you did it, and I’ll stop.”
“But Daddy, I didn’t…”
“Tell me you did it, and I’ll stop. Or else…”
He raised his lip, and glared his teeth. “I’m gonna whip your butt till it bleeds!!”
LATER IN LIFE, Devin realized… this was foreplay for the beast. The creature wanted the beating to continue; the same way it did when the demon was Devin’s age. When the beast’s father generously bestowed evil upon Devin’s dad.
“I did it!” cried Devin.
“You did what?!”
“I took the money!! I took the money!!!”
Sow The Seed
THE BEATING STOPPED. The beast departed. And a father remained. “You know this hurts me more than it hurts you,” he said.
Writhing in pain, and relieved the attack was finally over. Devin whimpered and quivered. He flapped his mouth, unable to summon coherent words as drools of saliva slung from his lips. “Ahhhh… fufufu… Ahhhh… fufufu… Ahhhh… fufufu.”
His father spoke calmly.
“Go apologize to your mother again.”
HE’D EXPERIENCED THIS RITUAL a dozen times, and Devin learned to hate his father. He prayed (one day) to overpower the beast. Anticipating the day he’d grow stronger than the demon. He wantonly envisioned… the beast will get slow, as I become fast. He’ll age weak as I grow strong.
Then I’ll show him what it feels like to be truly broken.
I’ll make him suffer.
TEN YEARS LATER, Devin looked upon his contained rage. He was in college, working on his car; replacing a bent valve. The valve determined to curve after the vehicle’s timing belt broke. To repair it, Devin’s father drove to Devin’s school. He did this repeatedly. Over the course of several weekends and many months. His dad clocked hundreds of miles, and brought new valves, valve springs, and all the necessary tools to repair the engine.
Devin and his dad leaned over the engine of his car, laboring over the four-cylinder engine as Devin thought… if there ever were a time. An opportunity to punish the beast.
It is now.
His father’s belly beached on the edge of the vehicle’s frame. Sweat dripped from his forehead while his eyes and arms focused on tugging a leverage pole. The pole extended from a socket wrench. The wrench encased a bolt. The bolt, was one of six requiring removal, and it’s resistant.
Next to Devin, lay a sixty-inch cast iron pipe wrench.
A killer of beasts.
The window of opportunity arrived, and Devin glared through its opening.
Seeing, within his grasp, the potential of what could be accomplished. He realized, yes, my father is flawed. But now the same man who slung the rubber hose, the man who fed and nurtured his beast, is my friend. He’s no longer the creature he once was.
But that doesn’t change what he did!
Devin debated whether to conjure the beast within himself, being fully aware, his demon was hungry too. It wanted to get out and craved revenge. How else to prove itself more powerful, than by dominating its father?
But first, the beast required Devin’s permission to take control.
Just say yes…
The creature prodded… you’ll see what I do. You’ll like it too.
Devin heard the request, but didn’t respond.
The beast persisted… are you afraid? Don’t be. I’ll do it for you. Let me out. I’ll take care of everything. He guided Devin’s eyes towards the back of his father’s balding head. Streams of sweat poured down his dome, dripping into the top of his t-shirt, soaking his back in a pool of perspiration… you see him?
He’s the one who broke your soul!
Let’s bleed him!
Devin replied. ‘But Dad’s different now.’
So are you!
Show him how different you are! You want to do it. I’ll help you.
‘If we do this, then what happens next?’
What do you mean ‘what happens next?!’ The beast scoffed. We’ll iron out the details later! Why are you questioning this? Pick up the wrench.
Devin had dreamt of this day. To achieve retribution for himself, and in some way for his mother. But he thought… not this way. The beast recognized his reluctance and spoke determinedly… if you don’t do this, then he wins! You lose. Don’t let him beat you again! For once in your life, win! Devin said nothing.
He watched the window of opportunity slowly pass-by.
The beast groaned… you are fucking pathetic! Weak!
It was a last minute appeal to which Devin replied.
‘It’s my pleasure to inform you, beast. Your request for control has been deemed, unwanted. And from this moment, until the-end-of-time… is denied.’